As we grow older our kids do too. That is something we know will happen, but I think rarely understand what it really means. When my stepson graduated from Indonesia and left to go back to America for college it was hard. He had lived with us since 8th grade and his departure would surely mean changes. Indeed - changes came. The kids changed how they related with one less. We went from four kids schedules to three. Things changed but we kept on moving.
Now we enter into our oldest daughter's senior year. Changes - maybe I have decided I do not like them anymore. But that is a year away - it will go quickly - but it is still a year away. And then God called....
not me - well not directly - but Victoria. She had been talking about it for over a year. Praying about it, fundraising. And now here we are - she is leaving to Thailand for a month. Changes - happening sooner than I thought. Sweaty palms and a fluttering heart as we watched our baby girl board a plane alone for the first time. She turned back and waved. A moment of panic runs through my mind - WHAT AM I DOING? I HAVE TO GO GET HER! But no - I smile, wave and fervently pray.
I have always known that she was mine for a little while - all of them are - how grateful I am that God entrusted me with them as children. Truthfully, they are His. I get that in my head - but my heart is not playing along.
This summer we will be a family of four. Changes, yuck.
God, please protect my children as they grow. Stretch their hearts for you. Give them a burning desire to GO. In whatever way or place - give them wings. But most of all, Father, hold my heart tenderly as I try to make it understand these changes. It just does not seem strong enough.
This is Victoria speaking to hundreds of university students in Thailand. She gave her testimony, shared the gospel and God blessed their time together with so many receiving Christ that day. Thank you Lord for your goodness to her. Thank you Lord for strengthening my heart.